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10 things which annoy me on the way to work…

Catching the train in to London every day is an eye opener to the way life works and human nature at its most raw, and while these are actual pet hates its also a bit tongue in cheek..

People who don’t get the beeping on the underground train means the doors are closing

I did some research on this and it turns out that beep you hear (or don’t as the case may be) is set at a pitch which is actually deemed annoying by the Amygdala (look it up). There is a 10 second beep which was implemented about 15 years ago over the whole underground. The beeping system was put in place because it involves no vision or language skills and doesn’t require any pictograms. A Universal signal telling people, something is happening here.

So a system which has been in place and is designed to be annoying is what is in place. yet daily i’m forced to watch people getting trapped in doors, heads stuck in doors, bags stuck in doors. As each mornings late for work hero geth themselves trapped in the closing doors of a departing underground train.

People who are insistant they can get on a crowded train.

When the train doors are not being kept open by the heard of hearing, the impatient are also abound in huge numbers in the morning.. I catch the Piccadilly line, which works quite well and carry many passengers at the rate of a train every 90 seconds.

That means you need to wait 90 seconds for the next train at peak rush hour, this is clearly advertised on the station in a very well updated

So why is it on an obviously crowded train people feel that they have the right to push past the people waiting for the next train and jam themselves on the train, ensuring we are all uncomfortable.

I will regularly wait for the nex train, and often its half empty..

People who call out “Can you move down please” and then don’t move themselves

Calling out “can you move down please” on a train which you wouldn’t be able to ship cattle on because of EU health and safety for bovine regulations is akin to shouting out “Could you please make yourselves just a little bit more uncomfortable because I couldn’t be bothered to get up earlier and/or walk down the platform to that emptier carriage just down the platform” It’s always the same sort of person who does this, the next stop they themselves will adamantly not move. they are the person who stands by the door as the train passengers are trying to alight.

Seat Surfers

What is a seat surfer? A crowded train, not packed just crowded enough to be very little room, and there is a seat, a seat right at the other end of the carriage. The seat surfer will get on the doors at the other end of the carriage and push past everyone on the train to get to that seat. Train duration 10 minutes, seat surfer will still go for that seat. 4 people crammed onto the seats, only space left is the one in the middle and there is so little space a child couldn’t sit there.. Seat surfer will..

Newspaper readers

Packed Train again, not much space, we are all being polite, next station someone gets on who must, just must read their oversized news paper, kindle owners are putting them away just to a lack of space but the Guardian reader / FT reader has to read their paper, no thought of reading over the fold this is wide open.. Dude, there’s an app for that..

People with very large suitcases

The Piccadilly line is the main underground route to Heathrow, and in the morning picks up its fair share of people heading there. Its a great service, direct and cheap. The wife and I use it for that and when we do we move to a place out of the way and keep moving when needed. Many travellers however, not quite as curtious. Russel Square picks up a huge number of suitcase owners, big suitcase owners. Every other station up to Russel Square opens on the right hand side of the train except this one and the next one Holborn.

I will watch multiple large suitcase owners block the doors at Russel Square only to find the next stop they are 100% in the way and no one can get off at Holborn. Carnage..

Wheelie bag owners

There is a place in the 7th Level of Dantes version of HELL for Wheelie bag owners. Bottom of the escalator  stop lift up handle pile up, top of the escalator same thing, walking down the platform forgetting that there are 3 meters of luggage behind them tripping over all unsundry on their way. Get to stairs realising just how much the bag actually weighs and wondering why there are stairs here looking round for someone to help getting the stairs.

Groups of people on holiday

Between the hours of 7am and 9am people are getting to work, the Underground is packed with people who know where they are going and move quickly, an efficient machine. Then add a group of tourists and chaos works itself in the motion. Pulling out maps, staring at the underground maps, trying to figure out how to get to the place they are going.

No actual issues with tourists this town needs them.. However all i want to know is WHERE ARE THEY GOING???? nothing opens tourist wise in London till 10am.. Stay in the hotel, enjoy a lie in, have a full English you are on holiday..

I watch tourists wonder around Covent Garden at 8:30am looking like lost lambs with nothing open..

People who don’t have their Oyster card ready

Watch them next time you are out in London, escalator or lift to the exit, plenty of time to get the blue card or orange ticket in the hand.. loads of time, hundreds of people behind them, moving like clockwork and in tune, then one person with an oversized bag stops, and roots around it looking for the oyster card.. BOOM!!! Chaos.. it all breaks down.

It’s the same going into the station in tourist hotspots as well.. the melee of people, the blank stares.. Oh I live for it..

Me..

Yes, Me, i’m a moody, arrogant twat in the morning, I want to get from A to B with as little fuss and bover as possible.. I don’t need other people and the chaos of the underground, but I wouldn’t have it any other way..

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